dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
