I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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