dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
