i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
