Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
