Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
