thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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