I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
