beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
