I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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