508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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