Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
