so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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