I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
