i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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