Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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