there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
