I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
