If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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