he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
someone owes me an orgasm
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
