hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
