Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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