Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
