my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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