Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
