You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
