Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
