At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize