My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
