I think I won the penis lottery.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize