So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
