Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
