at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
