and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
