I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I looked at my own cervix.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
how drunk are you?
Several
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
