You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
