i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
