took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
