My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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