I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
