Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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