My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
