ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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