my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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