True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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