But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize