you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
