Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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