I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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