I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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