Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
