Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm like, not good at living.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
