she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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