I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Only a mothe r could love this liver
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
