There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
