My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
