Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
