If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's the barista slut.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
