We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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