Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
