I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
