My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
