i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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